Why don’t we celebrate more in our lives? Is it that around thirty most people are devoting their time to raising children, while I don’t plan to have one of my own? Or because a lot of these traditions were started living to 40 was a big deal?

Screw. That. I want to continue celebrating things in my life well beyond my twenties, and to highlight anything that catches my eye. Here are some birthdays and other things I’m totally going to celebrate:

Graduating from grad school. I value this far, far more than my college degree. It’s a show of my skills, I’ll be presenting a thesis, and I feel like I’ve grown considerably in the last 2+ years. My roommate should get one of his degrees when I do, so I’m building a party that’s a pretty close mimicry of a wedding for my own amusement. Plus when I’m really frustrated, spending a few minutes plotting this out cheers me up and gets me back on track. Somewhat.

I also may use this as a time to celebrate how far I’ve come as a photographer. This is one of the first photos I ever took on an assignment, and I’d love to reshoot some old frames to see how much my composition skills have improved.

I can so see how I had no clue what I was doing.

Daily awesomeness. I don’t like that hosting a party for the sake of having a party tends to be limited to birthdays. Once I’m out of school, I want to host quarterly events just to hang out with awesome people in ridiculous settings. I’d love to host a party to celebrate the first farmer’s market of the season, or the first sight of cherry blossoms in Seattle.

Candidacy Speech Birthdays. You can legally run for President once you’re 35, and become a Senator when you’re 30. Why not use those birthdays to give a speech? So what if you’re not going to be President – it’s a silly chance to talk about what matters to you and what you want to do with it. Even if your main goal is to just get more sleep.

Food holidays. I’m not going to lie – there are a ton of food holidays, often multiple on one day. I’m not out to celebrate every freaking one, but it’d be fun to pick a few that are awesome (Toasted Marshmallow Day is August 30th) and turn them into an annual group event.

Forty by Forty. Bucket lists are fun, but I’d want to start one at age 39, and then complete all of them in a year. Maybe nothing too crazy, but all sorts of stuff I wanted to do in a year, from acts of kindness to ziplining to camping. Then I could celebrate them all in one party where that party includes the fortieth item on the list. Or with forty cupcakes. I’m not too picky.

Make up new milestones. The last prime before 100 is 97; I’d totally celebrate living that long. I’d love to make a company and give it a birthday – even if only I celebrate it, it can have cake, too. Or there’s five and ten year anniversaries of staying in a town, or celebrating starting a new profession or going back to school or whatever sounds amazing in your life.

Including my thesis, I only have 30 credits to go. In theory this should be easy to fill in three quarters or less; 10 credits a quarter is a full load, but not painfully so. (Seven credits is the minimum for full-time at my university.) And yes, I could take classes elsewhere in the university, but to graduate I need to take those credits from within my school. Part of the fine print.

This is of course where planning sheets, begging professors for status updates, and all but prayer get called in.

We just had registration. Like college, this is a multi-step process:

1. Classes posted. In general, this rarely goes well. This quarter, for example, there are only a few courses not involving law and economics. Am not in law or economics.

2. Schedule evaluation. Try to determine how much sanity/sleep you need versus how many courses you can shove in from the options available. Try to remember if your major advisor needs you available for a certain day that quarter, decide to fight that battle once they email you.

3. Preparation. After picking what classes might work, set five alarms for around 6 am, actually manage to wake up on time, copy and paste course numbers into registration, and then cross fingers that the system will work instead of crashing.

4. Anticipation. That thirty second interval where your courses work, or you’ve fixed all the errors/add code problems you can. Joy.

5. Denial. The next moment, or when you look over your visual or exam schedule and realize what you’ve done to your future sanity.

6. Acceptance. Start planning your study groups.

I’m currently registered for nine credits; I’ll add my thesis credits later once I set my research hours. I’ll take 13-15 total if there’s room in this one class, but I can’t register until the first session of that course as I’m not in a particular certificate program. Two credits are in skills workshops and are night classes – one goes until 9 pm.

The thing is, that’s just how it is. Ideally I’d end classes by 5, as I tend to crash early once it’s dark, unlike the MS students in the computer science department.

And, as usual, I’m lucky. With my boss multiple time zones away and coordinating with lots of PR folk who keep crazy hours, I’m not beholden to a traditional 9-5. (I know I work more than a 9-5 when I’m on the job, but that’s separate.) If I need to study until 9 pm one night, I’m not doomed, but it is frustrating.

This is not the norm. I have a classmate who brings his infant daughter to class one day a week because that’s the only option he has. (Thankfully, she sleeps through everything.) Others work two part-time jobs to have the flexibility to pay their bills and go to school.

I admit, I’m not sure what an immediate solution is. Some students need night classes, some don’t. I would love to see more professors record their lectures with video, but many rooms lack the technology to do so. I also wish we could get the departments to check with students to see what hours are even physically possible.

For now, I’m going back to sleep.

So, things I’m thinking about for this weekend:

Congee. I made a huge batch to deal with this fever, and I’ve been eating it with radishes. It’s actually a pretty nice combination, as I used chicken stock in the congee so it’s a contrast of soothing and peppery bites. I may have to make a congee bar for a study hall or something in the fall, but for now it’s breakfast.

Sunscreen. Seriously, Seattle, I know we’re low on Vitamin D, but let’s not turn the first few sunny weekends of the year into the first weeks spent inside sunburned of the year. I admit I use something based on what my dermatologist recommends, but just get what works best for you. I lived off the REI brand for years, and I’m pretty sure it’s how I survived field work.

Making this steamer setup. Alton Brown, man of many talents, has me inspired to fill the giant pasta pot with steamers. I’ve been wanting to make some scallion buns, but the steamers I have are so small I can only make two at a time. Tetris steamer action sounds way bettter.

Go make a waffle bar. For whatever reason we’ve all been talking waffles on twitter, from fromage blanc with honey to gooseberries and currants. Between that, my waffle escapades, and the new waffle trucks, more waffle goodness is probably happening soon. Waffle sandwiches, anyone?

Letterpress classes for the summer. Letterpress is both amazing and slightly scary, and I’m looking at summer classes at Pratt or the School of Visual Concepts. If I do register for a class, I’ll try to give away some of the cards. I made Portal themed art last time, so maybe I’ll go Portal 2 this time around.

There are no winners, only happiness.

If I was doing this, I’d want someone to take over a table we could bring all the desserts to. I mean, if we’re all hunting cake, I prefer to compare notes over a smorgasbord of sugar rather than block everyone else who’s trying to get a taste.

One of the most common questions I get is if that person should go to grad school. I also usually get the related question of “why are you in grad school in forestry and public affairs when all you talk about online is food?”

Growing up, I always assumed I would get a PhD. I was the first of my cousins to want to go to grad school, and I had the “first daughter syndrome” of wanting to please my parents, both of whom went to grad school and didn’t receive doctorates. (Also, before I had a clue what I was digging myself into, it sounded good.) Since I loved Americorps, I thought I would continue in forestry, but then I found out about the Masters in Public Administration, and that also seemed pretty awesome. And then I found out I could do them both, together, at the University of Washington.

Before I applied, I spent a lot of time looking over the curriculum offerings, course schedules, and professors. I considered going to UC Berkeley, which has a sweet behavioral ecology lab, but they didn’t offer a MPA concurrent with biology, and I prefer Seattle’s local ecosystems anyway. So, I applied, and got in.

The thing is this: grad school, like just about everything worth doing, is fueled by your passion. And that passion will be tested, especially in the professional programs.

To be blunt, they’re grinding through your cohort. You have a set order of classes, and woe to whoever is out of schedule. You don’t like economics, statistics, and finance? Tough; this isn’t the program for you. This may seem obvious, but it really hits home somewhere in quarter three when you’ve been reading on leadership and quasiexperimental analysis for two hours and it’s not clicking and all you want to do is cry about market failure and ethical constraints.

And then you realize your significant other is trying to figure out what parts of the sentence you just said even fit together when you go whine to them about it.

That doesn’t mean I think I made a bad decision in my program. I’m now connected to an amazing group of people, both in my cohorts and my professors. And the schools I’m in have their own power that I will be part of for the rest of my life. I speak a new language, and I can see it changing how I plan and act. That’s pretty cool.

Also, in full honesty, I didn’t expect go into food media; it still amazes me what I do on a regular basis. I love food – you should see my recipe hoard – and our relationship with food. But I assumed I would stay researching animals in some way and working in the ecology sector. The fact that I basically fell into food photography changed a lot of things, but I still love my research.

In all, I’ve learned a lot about myself, more about being a manager, and even more about what I want out of this world. Just know that grad school is not the easiest, or the most fun, decision you’ll ever make.

I’ve never been super excited by birthdays, which was probably pushed by a combination of either being out at Girl Scout activities that day or everyone being distracted by other events/holidays around then. It got to the point that, at 18, when I was finally home for once my parents didn’t know what to do.

I’m actually a huge fan of celebrating them, though. I went through a phase a few years back where I found all the free birthday things you can sign up for, so I’ve received burgers, ice cream, chocolate, you name it. I’m looking forward to grabbing some frozen yogurt, a cupcake, and going puppy viewing in a few days.

I just don’t like celebrating in large parties. Yes, parties are great just to see everyone, but then you’re spreading yourself out as opposed to actually catching up. It’s like how it was at my wedding – everyone socialized, but I was so busy just coordinating that I really enjoyed all the hanging out ahead of time more. (It totally helped that it was PAX weekend, so everyone was super excited and talking games.) I have lovely memories of how the event went, but not as many as I’d like about the people who flew out so far just to be there.

This year, I tried to celebrate anyway, but I’m still dealing with the Fever That Won’t Die. I had plans, things involving tiny cakes and a trek out for awesome mocktails, but my health decided I should stay in.

So instead, Chris and I ate some of the leftover bacon/cheddar/scallion waffles, I rescheduled my hair dye appointment yet again (bonus: we’ll now go to Mashiko for sushi) and I plotted what I actually wanted for a birthday.

I’d love a day or two of catching up with people, one on one.

Not only can I then see people, it’s a chance to explore every cake and dessert shop I’ve been meaning to try or revisit. And I have one hell of a long list. I can take Quynh to Facing East again for shaved ice, drag Anne to the new Bakery Nouveau shop, see if Kiri wants to hit up one of the vegan bakeries, take Rachel to Crumble and Flake. I really want to get some cake and simply listen to what’s going on in their lives, because I feel like I’ve missed out on so much. And these people, these amazing, varied, nerdy people, are who make my life that much more awesome. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate my life than by celebrating theirs.

I am an idea generator. It is both awesome and incredibly distracting – it’s way more fun to imagine cakes than review for exams.

So, while I can’t actively start pursuing things too far, I can still think up ideas and share them. Ideas are best when everyone can learn from them.

So, today, some things I wish existed in Seattle:

A cake CSA. Yes, there are delivery services like Troubadour Baker, but I’m talking about tiered, buttercream or fondant miniature masterpieces, in boxes tied up with ribbons, just because.

We don’t have enough cakes, especially not for a random pick-me-up. So, once a month, on a day you pick, cake. And seasonal cakes, vegan cakes, gluten free cakes, a mix of retro and fanciful. Cake pops would also work for an added cute factor, but my mind’s on something layered with frosting or jam.

In my ideal world, there would also be delivery and pickup options. Delivery would be lovely, but I think it would be fantastic to have a room all decorated with cakes and people could come and pick up one from a giant table of desserts.

Bonus: local artisan cake/dessert mashups.

Amazing live/work collectives. As I continue my quest to have a blogger commune, the more I think it would be fun to either have a bunch of cottages close together with a common ‘lodge’ or take over a warehouse and have one floor be the office and the rest studios.

However, unless I could convince a bunch of you to move to Bremerton, land of the fallen housing market, we freelancers so can’t afford it. (There are brand spanking new houses selling for $200,000. We could move a whole army of bloggers out there.)

I actually don’t think this is impossible – it’s just something you’d need a lot of backers on in some form, either as a co-op or investors. And people who are willing to wait 6-12+ months while renovations happen. It’s just not an easy sell on Kickstarter, though I would totally give it a shot.

More things involving waffles. I’m testing out a waffle maker for Crave Local right now (commentary to follow), so I spent some of my fevered state making waffles. (There’s only so much you can do with a 99.8 temperature and half your normal alertness.) The first “actual waffle” recipe was a bust, so I made some really awesome cheddar/bacon/scallion waffles – using a pancake recipe. I have yet to screw it up, and it’s a super thick batter, so I was hopeful it would at least not suck, and they’re fairly awesome.

Savory waffles are a beautiful thing, people. Yes, Seattle’s finally getting all these waffle trucks, but it’s not that hard to use my favorite recipe and make something delicious. I’d tell you the proportions, but honestly I just make some bacon, let it cool, set up the pancake batter, then mix in a ton of grated cheddar, minced bacon, and chopped scallions, then some pepper if I feel like it. If it looks like there’s not enough of something, I add more of it. One of these days I might measure it, but it’s kind of fun to see how bacon-y waffles can get.

Really good buffet restaurants. Outside of Las Vegas and the rare vegan or Indian buffet, these are a rare breed. I love the idea of buffets, of getting tons of tiny bites and trying a billion things I wouldn’t necessarily order as an entree. Please, please can someone make a brunch buffet more expansive than what you get at Portage Bay Cafe? I would live in it.

Also, tiny french toast bites. Please.

No, really.

I once sent Chris to scout one with a friend, back when I entered wedding contests regularly and won two tickets to one in NYC. I couldn’t attend it as I was in Seattle, but he returned with tales of horror and cake. I was more than fearful, and avoided them for the rest of our wedding planning.

After we married and I settled into grad school and being a food writer, I started sending myself to wedding shows. Voluntarily. Often I was the only writer available, and so I took it with a grain of salt, but then I started enjoying them.

Here’s what I learned: If you’re engaged or with a bridal party, the staff know you’re on a massive deadline and they’re focused on selling that dream, and fast. But if you’re not in a wedding crunch, it’s a completely different experience.

The first one I attended, Weddings on the Waterfront, was a blast, and I’m pretty certain I had the most fun out of any of the people who weren’t vendors.

I hung out with Maureen of Posh Flowers, who gave me one of her bouquets at the show’s end. (I later brought it to my massage therapist, who actually cared for it so I got to see the flowers live much longer.) I photographed and ate cake. Seattle Sweets Co. was there, so I left with a bag of gorgeous vegan caramel which was coveted by the caramel addicts in my house. Walking around with my camera bag and goody bag slung on one side, the pale pink bouquet cascading down the other, I was practically beaming.

I even got a ride home from a lip reader, who was a blast to talk to. I still owe a few vendors a drunken crafting night.

This year, I went to the Seattle Wedding Show. It was more crowded and thus harder to talk to people, but I still ate cake and hung out with this really awesome guy who gave me a couple pounds of ridiculously aromatic garlic. It was fun.

I’m not saying this is for everyone – and it’s not always a great deal if you’re just out to try cake. (Weddings on the Waterfront was $30 per person.) Here’s how I look at it: hunting down new places to try cake and food from is a lot of work, and wedding events and similar shows do a lot of the legwork for you. Yes, they’re for weddings, but barbecue can apply to a birthday just as well as it can to a wedding. Just expect weird looks when you say you’re not the bride or groom.

I’d actually love to see more of these events for general amusement – I mean, could we have a birthday show with cards and cake and pie? What about barbecue party festivals?

If you have to go to one because you’re engaged or with the bridal party, or even if you’re curious, just try to remember that it’s not a competition. (Unless you make it one – cake bingo, maybe?) The vendors are there to help you, there’s cake, and you don’t have to agree to anything. Even if I was engaged, a lot of these are two day events, and I’d spend a day just wandering, exploring, and thinking, then spend the next coordinating.

Still, it’s so the last kind of place I expected to be excited to go to. Maybe I’ll see you there when the next wedding event hits my docket.

I’ve basically had the flu or a virus of some form, with occasional recovery breaks, since mid-January. I don’t talk about it too much outside of twitter, where a comment can get hidden incredibly fast, but it’s wearing on my patience at this point. I’ve stayed home when my temperature spikes, I’ve seen doctors, I’ve rested, and all that has really happened in its wake is a sea of cancelled appointments and rescheduled meetings.

That so does not mean I’m off the hook in my friendships.

There’s a rule in behavioral ecology called the zero-one rule – basically, as long as we help each other, we continue to help each other. Once someone stops, the cycle can either restart, or both sides stop helping.

While that’s really simple and might sound harsh, it’s useful for considering the care and feeding of friendships. You give and you take; it’s not one person’s job to keep things going. And if you’re not around to talk to or see your friends, it’s really, really hard to keep a friendship in perfect shape. Yes, IM and Skype are great, but phone and in person are better.

So, what can you do if you’re in a position like mine?

Be proactive. You missed the last gathering? Set up the next when you’re healthy. Invite everyone you know to hang out. Don’t wait for them to call you, send out an announcement that you’re interested in seeing them – and include dates. Check in, say hi, even if it’s to say you’re still super sick.

Value their time – even when you have to cancel. If you’re sick again, that happens, but let them know as early as you can. Most likely, if your fever is maintaining strength tonight, going out on a canoe tomorrow is a really, really bad idea.

Use that time to rest and, if you’re up for it, reflect. You’re sick, working to recover is your highest priority. But if you’re semi-functional like I’ve been just sleeping all day can get frustrating. Use the time to think about who you really want to see when you’re better, or what you’ve missed doing recently. Have you gone out to eat, or want to hit a local park? Maybe you can’t plan a day out yet, but you can make a list of ideas to use for when you’re healthy.

Know your limits. If you’re not up for any of that yet, it’s still okay, but find your limits and respect them while you recover. I learned early on that in this illness reading papers for school would exhaust me, but I could talk out complex ideas for an hour or so before being as tired. (I’m also doing fine in stats, so there has been much code going on.) Still, you should not feel pressured to do anything, even if this article bothers you to action. Your friends want to see you get better, not rushed towards poor health.

This is mainly a reminder for me, in all honesty. I get so caught up in just catching up on tasks that I’ll forget that my emotional needs and those of my friends need regular support.

Know yourself, know what you need to recover later, and, for now, rest. That advice goes for me as well, though I’m mainly stocking up on homemade chicken noodle soup.

Yeah, that was the last two weeks of my life. Stay healthy, people!

Things I’m thinking about: weekend of April 5, 2013

Did you know there’s a Japanese Tea Garden on Capitol Hill? I found it by accident while on Google Maps, tucked in the buildings of Seattle University. I’m going to check it out once I have a free moment.

Why aren’t you on a canoe yet? For me it’s field season, which means canoe season, so I’ll be out on the water looking for nutria damage as much as I can until June. But now that the weather’s great that doesn’t mean I should hog all the fun. (Though I admit I’d rather not have my favorite spots flooded with people, even if the places are awesome.)

I have no clue where this trail goes, and I intend to fix that.

Feral Feasts is returning to Queen Anne. They’re taking over Grub yet again on the 15th, and at $45 for a pop-up, it’s a screaming deal. I think people should try pop-ups and experimental restaurants, if only to get out of a dining funk, and this could be ridiculously fun.

Coming up on Ricochet: A weekend trek to Bainbridge Island. I spent a day last week on Bainbridge, so there’s a post coming up on that shortly. Given how the weather shifted towards the side of gorgeous, I’d really recommend going out this weekend and getting some sunshine.

So I’m making a Rose Crown. Out of duct tape. It’s for my birthday, mainly because it sounds funny. I’d be more fancy, but I wanted something I could make using crafting supplies I already had in the house. Tutorial and awkward progress photos to come.